trying again

I had no idea how tired I was. Maybe I still don't. But about a month ago, Athan started sleeping. We still have the odd night here and there when he's awake, and fewer when he's awake and screaming. But mostly, he sleeps.

And the whole world looks different. I suddenly have gas in the tank again. I have space I didn't have before. My daughter's temper seems more like a normal event in the life of a 4-year-old instead of one more thing aimed directly at my weaknesses. Laundry seems like a welcome part of my work instead of an avalanche of threatening dirty clothes. Cooking is fun again. Times of reading and reflection can exist instead of dissolving instantly into necessary naps. Conversations are restful instead of taxing.

This week, we had lots of heavy stuff. 3 families moved (2 away, 1 across town), which meant lots of cleaning and packing and loading. On back-to-back days, it meant tears and hugs and goodbyes. Other dear friends are in the midst of crisis. There was babysitting and grocery shopping and therapies and doctor visits and other stuff that happens around here quite often, but there was more of it all, and it all came on the tail-end of a week apart for our family... It was alot, and we were exhausted.

But I also had the reserve to do that for a while. It was a sprint. And now I can sleep again. Predictably. I don't have to live in the fog of fatigue all the time.

I guess I'm writing just to celebrate this for us. Also, to say to anyone going through a time when life requires you to live on too little sleep, you're not going crazy! Give yourself MUCH grace to cope however you need to for a while. And sleep whenever you can. ;)