Thursday, December 16, 2010

Athan wins again

Ok, parents. I need help. Again. The picture you see above is the result of "you may not get down until you've taken at least one bite." I lost. After I snapped this pic, I gathered him up and put him down for his nap. In case you can't hear it from there, he's already snoring. Surprisingly, this isn't so much about eating or not eating his food. He's a good eater when he's not already dug his heels in about it. It goes like this:

Here's the problem we face with Athan at least three times a day right now. It starts quite amicably: we give him a choice to make. Today it was "eat lunch" or "rest." Sometimes when he comes home from school, he's not hungry yet if they've just had snack. He gets sleepy before he gets hungry. Usually I just try to decide which is right for him, and act on my decision. Today I couldn't tell, so I gave him a choice. Per usual when given an either-or question, he announced his decision. "Rest."

So we head for the bedroom. No problem. He goes down for a nap most days sans protest. Normal. Except half way there, he changes his mind. "No I want to eat wunch first, Mama." Ok.

So we head back down the hall toward the table, where lunch is sitting ready for him to eat. "Actually, I want to rest first." Ok.

Back down the hall. "No lunch first." Ok. Back down the hall. "No rest first." Ok. Back down the hall... I calmly let him walk out his indecision for a few minutes until the tears come. He starts to shout at me each time he changes his mind "NO MOM I SAID REST FIRST!" even though I'm not arguing with him or impeding him in anyway from doing which ever he chooses.

Then I try to intervene, not because I'm in a hurry to get him to bed or to the table, but because it seems the only way to rescue him from the cycle of indecision he can't break alone. Of course, it's going to go badly from here because no matter what I do, it's the wrong choice. But now I've made a stand of some kind, and I can't let him just scream his way out of it. Thus "you have to take at least one bite before you get down" (the One Bite Rule is long-standing at our house, so that's not a surprise to him). So he cries into his pile of apples, ignores his quesadillas, refuses consolation, and falls asleep at the table (in this instance).

It happens almost any time we try to offer him a choice, and this is where I'm stuck. I don't know how to help him. I've tried letting him come to the end of indecision himself, and he just starts crying and gets angry. I try to intervene and decide for him, and he screams. I try to avoid giving him any choices at all, which might be why we're still in this pattern after so long, or it might be the right thing to do... AAAAHHH! I'm stuck.

Morgan never did this. It was enough to just say "you can't have both" or "you may decide or I will help and decide for you." She was ridiculously rational. Athan is not.

Any advice? Is he just too young to do what I'm asking him to do? How do I help him enjoy the freedom that comes with a choice instead of feeling trapped by them, to teach him how to choose? We're going on well over a year of this same pattern here, so any change would probably be a good one. :)


Morgan is 6 years old! During her "birthday weekend," she got to sing for the church twice, make a gingerbread house with Nana and Papa, and have a birthday party. We had a few friends over for cake after dinner on the actual day. There were guests from 6 months to 86(ish) years old, and Morgan, of course, seemed equally comfortable and happy with each extreme and everyone in between. We're thankful to the friends and fam who came (some on quite short notice) to celebrate Morgan with us. She's pretty excited about being 6!

I finally gave in. I've said for 5 years now that I wasn't going to spend alot of time on a crazy kid birthday cake for one too young to really care. But Morgan's six now, and she cares. :) So I called my mom-in-law for tips from a pro, and set out to make Morgan a Castle Cake for her birthday (pink, girly, princess-y castle, of course). I watched this video, then modified it a little. The pink sprinkles kinda help cover the fact that I really stink at icing a cake. :)

Might have been a little better if I'd done strawberry cake, but Morgan's only request was for chocolate. :) Here's a clip of her reaction to the cake, and the birthday song:

Thursday, December 9, 2010


I'd put it off for months, but I finally made the kids both an appointment to see a dentist.

Morgan's fine.

Athan has cavities. Several. Probably somewhat due to genetics. I also wonder if the "drool pool" that stays in his mouth because of his low tone has contributed. Whatever the reason, he has to have some fillings. It'll be done up at the hospital here in Abilene on January 7th. We'll have to arrange for all of his Endo stress dosing ahead of time.