There was a Window into my daughter's soul this morning, and I missed it.
It was a frustrating morning. We woke up a little late, and many of you already know that trying to rush a groggy 5-year-old through a morning routine doesn't really work. She lingered too long over breakfast, complained about her clothes and shoes (bringing long pauses before each item was finally on her body), and then whined through most of the brush-n-fix-the-hair process.
As I twisted the rubber band around her ponytail, she tearfully reported this to me: "Mom, I'm just sad because my friend M_____ at school always fixes her hair prettier than mine."
I was frustrated and we were in a hurry, so I threw some empty words of pseudo-encouragement at her, ignored her tears entirely (assuming them to be just an extension of our grumpy morning), and hustled her down the hall to grab the jacket and backpack and run to the car....
Then later, when the house was quiet and I faced 7 long hours before I could see my Morgan again, I cried a little. Partly for my morning fumble (which will require me to apologize to my daughter later today). But mostly, the tears came for the fact that it has already started for Morgan. This silly thing that women do - petty competition with one another to be the prettiest one - has started at age 5. Sans intervention, it won't stop for a long time, if ever.
So I prayed. I confessed. I asked the Lord if there's a better path through this for Morgan than I can see, and if there is, would He please point us both toward it?
And now I'm asking you, our community, to help me, too. Help Morgan know what real beauty is, and how to pursue it. Demonstrate celebration of the beauty of others WITHOUT putting yourself down in the process. And pray with me for the Holy Spirit to tell her these truths in ways none of us can.
It takes a village, right? :)
5 comments:
Ask Morgan what about the other girls hair she likes and see if you can do something similer and if you can't ask Morgan what she wants done with her hair. (it might take a few more mins, but if you can avoid tears, you save time, right?)
Hope this helps!! (take it from a girl who is older!!! :) trust me, i have spent 20 mins on my hair getting it to coperate!!)
Sweet Morgan, God made you unique in all the world. You have lovely skin and beautiful eyes. You are a loving sensitive girl who impacts every person you encounter.
I am praying for all our daughters today.
Streaming tears for your daughter and my own 2 as well. Why do we put on this fight with our fellow lovely ladies?! So, I'll pray for you and myself too - as we both navigate through this and figure out how to teach our girls something so completely foreign to the world! That beauty is found within and through God's most precious grace in our lives!
Props to you on picking up on it though. Those moments are easily missed.
Much love to you, friend.
Heart wrenching. I will be remembering you and Morgan in my prayers. Parenting. Not having girls, I am amazed that this comparison of ourselves to others starts so young. And you are an amazing momma my friend. Now I'm longing to chat over coffee with you, but blogging will have to do.
I too am tearing up after reading this. As the mom of a daughter and a fellow female, the hurt is real. When faced with similar situations in our home, I take said child in front of the mirror and we look at all of the beauty God has given her. And thank him....thank him that we are all differnt and beautiful!!! Praying for you!!!!
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