Athan is feeling well, it seems. His cough is almost gone, and his congestion is clearing up little by little.
Morgan is potty trained! We're not totally accident-free yet, but she has not had a diaper on at all in almost a week.
It was good to have Courtney here for a couple of days. Ryan graciously stayed here with the kiddos so she and I could have lunch yesterday. We also went to the mall to get haircuts, which I badly needed! For the first time since jr hi, I have layers... hmm....
Ryan is studying today. He got a little behind last week when Athan was sick, and more this weekend with company here and other projects to work on. I think being gone today will help him catch up.
All in all, things are going pretty smoothly today. On the outside, anyway. Inside... it has been a hard day. A very surprising trigger sent me into much grief today. I'm just sad. And mad. Mad that Athan has to be on meds for his whole life. Mad that his body isn't doing all the things that most people's bodies can do. Mad that every other time he nurses he has to start with medication. I know all the stuff - like it could be much worse and at least he's alive and can't I just be glad for the good things? I am, but it's not bigger than the sadness and anger today. I hope I can navigate these emotions appropriately so they don't linger or take over.
Morgan is potty trained! We're not totally accident-free yet, but she has not had a diaper on at all in almost a week.
It was good to have Courtney here for a couple of days. Ryan graciously stayed here with the kiddos so she and I could have lunch yesterday. We also went to the mall to get haircuts, which I badly needed! For the first time since jr hi, I have layers... hmm....
Ryan is studying today. He got a little behind last week when Athan was sick, and more this weekend with company here and other projects to work on. I think being gone today will help him catch up.
All in all, things are going pretty smoothly today. On the outside, anyway. Inside... it has been a hard day. A very surprising trigger sent me into much grief today. I'm just sad. And mad. Mad that Athan has to be on meds for his whole life. Mad that his body isn't doing all the things that most people's bodies can do. Mad that every other time he nurses he has to start with medication. I know all the stuff - like it could be much worse and at least he's alive and can't I just be glad for the good things? I am, but it's not bigger than the sadness and anger today. I hope I can navigate these emotions appropriately so they don't linger or take over.
4 comments:
Amber,
I have no idea how hard this is for you. I can't even imagine! Cap's kidneys seem so much more insignificant than they ever did! I'm so sorry you and Ryan have to go through this. I'm sorry that we can't compare notes on how are kiddos are doing because there is no comparison no matter what I may have said in my post-pardem induced fog. I can only hope and pray things get easier for y'all to wrap your heads around. We all love and miss you here in Borger.
Amy
Amber,
Hang in there! It is very difficult sometimes to understand why or how there could be something wrong with our babies, and to imagine the road ahead. But with a lot of love, prayer and support from those around you, you will make it. Athan is lucky to have you for his mommy and it is perfectly normal for you to feel sad or even angry somedays- we all do that as parents. Hopefully you will get some good rest and tomorrow will be a better day!
Lots of love,
Mandy Wilson-Rosas
Amber - I don't even know what to say to encourage you but know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you today.
I can feel your Mom's heart & am so sorry for what your fam is experiencing. You are wise to acknowledge & express those feelings. Sometimes life throws us curves & what we "expected" is different from the reality. I had a wise woman tell me that its ok to grieve the "new normal" of our lives. That doen't take away from your love for Athan, it's just that as parents we always want to protect our kids & never want them to suffer. God's grace is sufficent for you today & tomorrow & the next!!! Both you & Ryan keep taking care of yourself so that you can care for your fam. Sending much love & prayers!!!! Denise Christian
Post a Comment