a happy moment

Ok, I know this could be a fluke, so I won't get too excited. Still, this made me smile:

The kids were watching a short video and having a snack while I cleaned the kitchen. Athan got up and brought his trash (granola bar wrapper) into the kitchen and threw it away. Without a word to me, he got a napkin and wiped his hands, and then got out a cup, filled it with water, took a drink, put the cup back on the counter, and returned to the movie.

It seems simple, I know. But just celebrate with me, for a moment, what he did NOT do. He did not leave his trash in the living room floor. He did not wipe his sticky hands on the recliner or on his shirt. He did not yell for me to bring him a napkin or a drink. He did not leave his cup half full of water in the middle of the floor, nor did he throw it in frustration.

Morgan craves independence so much we have to remind her that she's still 7, not 22. Athan, on the other hand, has been more resistant to our encouragement toward more independence. For a moment today, that was different.

A happy moment. :)

cardio surgery consult

So I'm trying again to keep up the blog. :)

We just had our consultation with Dr. Tam, the heart surgeon at Cooks Children's. He described the procedure to us (no surprises), and we set the dates.

Pro-op: Wed, April 11.

Surgery: Thurs, April 12.

eye surgery postponed

Athan's fine. But Cardio says we'd better do the surgery in a hospital so he can be on a heart monitor during the procedure, and our current doc is only set up to do surgeries at a surgery center that doesn't have heart monitoring capabilities. So he's referring us to a pediatric eye doc in Ft. Worth who does surgeries in a hospital.

I'm glad we're being cautious. No complaints about taking the safest route. I'm a little frustrated that it took so many appointments before we figured out that a referral was needed. Still, everyone was very helpful at both offices in town today, and got my surgical pre-payments refunded quickly and fully.

So we'll meet the new doc soon and start the process over.

pre-op for eye surgery

We went in for our pre-op appointment for Athan's up-coming eye surgery today. It should be a short, simple out-patient surgery next Wednesday, and they'll kinda loosen the muscles on the inside of both eyes to keep them from turning in.

Now the week of jumping through medi-communication loops begins. We actually already had an appointment with Cardio for this Thursday, during which we have to get them to send all of Athan's info (through the Cardio lens) to the docs at the surgery center for review. Same with Endo, plus stress dose instructions for his IV Steroids (because unlike the saintly Dr. Irene, we haven't gotten a letter yet from our new doc with instructions for surgeries and emergencies - bah!). Then the anesthesiologists convene over his compiled medical history and decide if we're ok to proceed as planned. If they decide Athan would be better served to do the surgery at the hospital instead of the surgery center, we'll have to reschedule.

Barring any red flags, one more surgery for kiddo a week from tomorrow.

some other stuff we do

Blue pants because it's too hot already (yes, we will get him a haircut soon):

Ryan lays sod in the backyard:
Morgan dresses up for 50s Day at school:
And Western Day:
And we hang out with Grammy and Baby Mae:

Vacation

Planes (Dallas to St. Louis to Chicago to D.C, then D.C to Denver to OKC to Dallas):
Trains (into Baltimore and back with the Crisps to visit the science Center):


And automobiles (lots of driving, too. Trip to train station pictured here):


It was really good to see our friends the Crisps! What a great way to vacation! The Wilmore Diaspora better watch out - the Strebecks like planning vacations to intrude on old friends. :) I think the kids had fun:

i know, i know

I haven't been writing. I'm sorry. Among other things, my brain has been swimming with the info in the video below. Meanwhile, the Good Ship Strebeck is sailing along nicely. Specifics soon. (Thanks to Cindy and JD for the link to this vid.)

All better now...

Athan recovered from the procedure 2 weeks ago just fine. He probably took the whole thing better than I did! :) I was sickly for a couple days after his ordeal was all over.

Then we went to Clovis for a belated Christmas gathering, and Morgan got sick (as in puking lots and eating almost nothing for a couple days). Then we came home from Clovis, and Athan got sick (also puking, had to give IM shot of cortef).

But we're all better now. Whew!

Pre op going well. More updates on facebook.

Well lthis is new...

Athan has his dental work done tomorrow. Just a few fillings, but it has to be done at the hospital to monitor heart and endo stuff.

This has been a new experience for us. In Kentucky, all of his procedures, whatever the specialty, were done either at UK or down the road at Central Baptist. Most of his docs knew each other, and all of his records were in the same computer system. Getting instructions for Athans care before, during, and after surgery seemed pretty easy.

Not this time. The dentist is a local independent practitioner, the pediatrician is part of a local practice, and the local Hospital is host for the day surgery. Meanwhile, Athan needs input from Cardio and Endo which are through Cook's Children's in Ft. Worth. Every doc and nurse and staff member is overbooked and overworked, it seems. We can't get calls (or faxes or e-mails or sing-o-grams) from specialists for pre- and post-op care, and we can't STOP getting calls from people who want the money first and NOW.

Ugh. I think most of the wrinkles have been ironed out, hurdles jumped over, and hoops jumped through. Tomorrow we will head up there at 7, have surgery at 8:30, and hope to be home by noon or 1.

Christmas Singing

Athan sings O Come, O Come Emmanuel from Ryan Strebeck on Vimeo.

EW Christmas Concert from Ryan Strebeck on Vimeo.

Athan wins again

Ok, parents. I need help. Again. The picture you see above is the result of "you may not get down until you've taken at least one bite." I lost. After I snapped this pic, I gathered him up and put him down for his nap. In case you can't hear it from there, he's already snoring. Surprisingly, this isn't so much about eating or not eating his food. He's a good eater when he's not already dug his heels in about it. It goes like this:

Here's the problem we face with Athan at least three times a day right now. It starts quite amicably: we give him a choice to make. Today it was "eat lunch" or "rest." Sometimes when he comes home from school, he's not hungry yet if they've just had snack. He gets sleepy before he gets hungry. Usually I just try to decide which is right for him, and act on my decision. Today I couldn't tell, so I gave him a choice. Per usual when given an either-or question, he announced his decision. "Rest."

So we head for the bedroom. No problem. He goes down for a nap most days sans protest. Normal. Except half way there, he changes his mind. "No I want to eat wunch first, Mama." Ok.

So we head back down the hall toward the table, where lunch is sitting ready for him to eat. "Actually, I want to rest first." Ok.

Back down the hall. "No lunch first." Ok. Back down the hall. "No rest first." Ok. Back down the hall... I calmly let him walk out his indecision for a few minutes until the tears come. He starts to shout at me each time he changes his mind "NO MOM I SAID REST FIRST!" even though I'm not arguing with him or impeding him in anyway from doing which ever he chooses.

Then I try to intervene, not because I'm in a hurry to get him to bed or to the table, but because it seems the only way to rescue him from the cycle of indecision he can't break alone. Of course, it's going to go badly from here because no matter what I do, it's the wrong choice. But now I've made a stand of some kind, and I can't let him just scream his way out of it. Thus "you have to take at least one bite before you get down" (the One Bite Rule is long-standing at our house, so that's not a surprise to him). So he cries into his pile of apples, ignores his quesadillas, refuses consolation, and falls asleep at the table (in this instance).

It happens almost any time we try to offer him a choice, and this is where I'm stuck. I don't know how to help him. I've tried letting him come to the end of indecision himself, and he just starts crying and gets angry. I try to intervene and decide for him, and he screams. I try to avoid giving him any choices at all, which might be why we're still in this pattern after so long, or it might be the right thing to do... AAAAHHH! I'm stuck.

Morgan never did this. It was enough to just say "you can't have both" or "you may decide or I will help and decide for you." She was ridiculously rational. Athan is not.

Any advice? Is he just too young to do what I'm asking him to do? How do I help him enjoy the freedom that comes with a choice instead of feeling trapped by them, to teach him how to choose? We're going on well over a year of this same pattern here, so any change would probably be a good one. :)

6

Morgan is 6 years old! During her "birthday weekend," she got to sing for the church twice, make a gingerbread house with Nana and Papa, and have a birthday party. We had a few friends over for cake after dinner on the actual day. There were guests from 6 months to 86(ish) years old, and Morgan, of course, seemed equally comfortable and happy with each extreme and everyone in between. We're thankful to the friends and fam who came (some on quite short notice) to celebrate Morgan with us. She's pretty excited about being 6!

I finally gave in. I've said for 5 years now that I wasn't going to spend alot of time on a crazy kid birthday cake for one too young to really care. But Morgan's six now, and she cares. :) So I called my mom-in-law for tips from a pro, and set out to make Morgan a Castle Cake for her birthday (pink, girly, princess-y castle, of course). I watched this video, then modified it a little. The pink sprinkles kinda help cover the fact that I really stink at icing a cake. :)



Might have been a little better if I'd done strawberry cake, but Morgan's only request was for chocolate. :) Here's a clip of her reaction to the cake, and the birthday song:

Bummer

I'd put it off for months, but I finally made the kids both an appointment to see a dentist.

Morgan's fine.

Athan has cavities. Several. Probably somewhat due to genetics. I also wonder if the "drool pool" that stays in his mouth because of his low tone has contributed. Whatever the reason, he has to have some fillings. It'll be done up at the hospital here in Abilene on January 7th. We'll have to arrange for all of his Endo stress dosing ahead of time.

Yucky.

dress up

Morgan The Star

Morgan was chosen as the Austin All-Star for Mrs. G's class for the 2nd six weeks. She gets to go to lunch tomorrow with all the All-Stars at Mr. Gatti's.

AND I got a note in her backpack today informing that Mrs. G's substitute earlier in the week said Morgan was "very helpful" to her.

Way to go Morgan! :)

potty training!

We've been steadily working with Athan to go on the potty. We're not there yet, but today we had a big milestone: Athan wore the same underwear and pants from morning to bath. No accidents! We still have to take him to the potty every once in a while just to make sure, but we didn't change clothes or use a single diaper or pull-up today. Woo-Hoo! He wears a pull-up from bath to bedtime (which is dry so far), and then a diaper at night.

Way to go Athan Bear!!

a happier snippit

Tonight the kids and I spent an hour just chillin in the back yard. Athan decided to be "Athan Bot," inspired by a Sesame Street skit. He spoke in only two pitches, with halting syllables, called me Mama Wobot, and ended every sentence with "beep, beep." Apparently, Athan Bot's primary function is to retrieve pecans one by one from Mama Wobot and take them to the yellow bucket.

Meanwhile, Morgan found a Magic Stick, which had many functions. It could distinguish between good and bad pecans, it could locate smallish Magic Twigs that were saved in a pile for later use - namely turning oneself into Tinker Bell, and it rediscovered various Lost Treasures which were collected in a bucket.

It was a good evening. :)

i missed it.

There was a Window into my daughter's soul this morning, and I missed it.

It was a frustrating morning. We woke up a little late, and many of you already know that trying to rush a groggy 5-year-old through a morning routine doesn't really work. She lingered too long over breakfast, complained about her clothes and shoes (bringing long pauses before each item was finally on her body), and then whined through most of the brush-n-fix-the-hair process.

As I twisted the rubber band around her ponytail, she tearfully reported this to me: "Mom, I'm just sad because my friend M_____ at school always fixes her hair prettier than mine."

I was frustrated and we were in a hurry, so I threw some empty words of pseudo-encouragement at her, ignored her tears entirely (assuming them to be just an extension of our grumpy morning), and hustled her down the hall to grab the jacket and backpack and run to the car....

Then later, when the house was quiet and I faced 7 long hours before I could see my Morgan again, I cried a little. Partly for my morning fumble (which will require me to apologize to my daughter later today). But mostly, the tears came for the fact that it has already started for Morgan. This silly thing that women do - petty competition with one another to be the prettiest one - has started at age 5. Sans intervention, it won't stop for a long time, if ever.

So I prayed. I confessed. I asked the Lord if there's a better path through this for Morgan than I can see, and if there is, would He please point us both toward it?

And now I'm asking you, our community, to help me, too. Help Morgan know what real beauty is, and how to pursue it. Demonstrate celebration of the beauty of others WITHOUT putting yourself down in the process. And pray with me for the Holy Spirit to tell her these truths in ways none of us can.

It takes a village, right? :)

WT rehab

We finally got in for our evaluation by the wonderful folks up at West Texas Rehab. Athan charmed everyone in the room, of course. :) And, as expected, they confirmed yet again that Athan demonstrates developmental delay in large and small motor skills. That's it. Every other area shows him age-appropriate or ahead.

Also, WT Rehab contracts with the schools to do therapy, so Athan sees some of the same folks at school as he will at "the gym" (as Athan prefers to call it). The PT - Jody - is good with just doing sessions at school and evaluating later to see if we need to add some sessions, depending on his progress in the next few months. OT we decided to add one half-hour session every other week on top of what he gets at school.

Jody also referred us over to ortho to get Athan fitted for some new ankle braces. He did NOT like the casting process they did to get a mold of his ankle. They'll call in a few weeks when they're ready and we'll go in for a fitting.

So far, the report from the therapists is that Athan is a joy to work with. We're so proud of his determination and hard work! :)